Nursing Owen

My little baby Owen has weaned. He was 17 months old, just shy of my goal by 1 month. I am so glad we made it that far because he was very high maintenance. Reflux caused him to gag, choke and cough while nursing - and the spit up was unreal. He woke in pain in the middle of the night until almost a year old... and the best thing to neutralize the acid is nursing. It wouldn't have bothered me so much if it was possible to sleep with him - but it wasn't. He was too noisy and too stimulated - he couldn't co-sleep! So I got very little sleep - for the 3rd year in a row.

Here we are in the hospital when he was just 1 day old.

He nursed for only 5-20 minutes at at time because he couldn't hold down much liquid. This also meant very frequent feedings - 1 1/2 to 2 hours at most. We were constantly attached - that is when he wasn't looking for his brother.

Jackson was just 20 months when Owen was born - still a baby himself. He became attached to his Graco baby and held him everytime I nursed Owen. Here he is nursing his baby - with the face out! Ha ha. He would panic if we were in the car and I had to nurse Owen and he didn't have his baby - "no, no no! No baby no baby!"

Owen was never a gentle child. He cried when he was mad, happy, hungry, sleepy, anything! He was a little baracuda while nursing too. Jackson would scold him for me, "Don't hurt MY Mommy Owie! No biting!" As time went on I though we wouldn't make it past 8 months - he just didn't pay attention long enough to keep up the supply.... so I never said no - even in the middle of the night. He eventually became very attached and increased the supply. Around 15 months he was so attached I thought he might nurse until he went to college. Not only was he not weaning, he was steadily increasing the number of times he wanted to nurse and the milk was increasing. So I had to actively start weaning. This was very foreign to me and almost broke my heart. Jackson was 14 months when he weaned all by himself due to the fact I was 3 months pregnant and the milk changed. I had given my pump to a friend so I had to go very very slowly. The whole process took about 6 weeks. First we went down to 2x/day for a few weeks, then once a day, then every other day.

Here he is at 17 months waiting for his "momma milk."

He was a very early talker. That is one thing that freaked me out. We could have a conversation about nursing. "Momma milk please!" and then when he finished one side he'd say "O-side, o-side" to switch. When I started to actively tell him no he would turn on the tears and beg, "ppppppuuuuuulllllllllleeeeeeaaaaaaasssssssseeeeeeee" and added the baby sign for extra effect. It was cruel and unusual punishment for this mommy.

Look how happy he was on his last day nursing. "Bye bye Momma milk. All done." He reluctantly made peace with the fact it was over.

And suddenly we had a bottle on our hands! What? A bottle? NOT REALLY. It's a sippy cup that looks like a bottle. You have to suck and suck HARD like you're nursing to get the liquid out. Jackson tried to use it and said, "mom, this cup is broken, it doesn't work!"

For some reason I love seeing him drink this cup that he now calls "bottle!" I think it's because he always HATED a real bottle. The babysitter forced it on him when he was too young for food, but it was a struggle. Even with fresh pumped momma milk, he hated it.

And now this cup is like another lovey to him. His "bottle" and his "blankie" - his new loves.I'm still mourning the loss of my baby - wait, what am I talking about? I have been pregnant and/or breastfeeding for 4 years straight! Still, nursing is a hard bond to break and I miss the days of holding my little baby and watching him grow - all because of me. Selfish, I know. But it is truly a miracle of God to watch your baby grow off breastmilk alone.
My precious little Owie. A hard headed- temper tantrum throwing - little cutie pie. And now he is weaned. Sniff sniff.